Things I wish I had done while my husband was deployed

Wait....what? Yes... I am about to talk about things I wish I had done while my husband was deployed for a year. This is not a list of cute themed care packages I wish I had sent him, home improvements I wish I had made, letters I wish I had sent...blah! 

If you listen to enough people, you can totally convince yourself that you are, in fact, a crummy military spouse because you didn't send your husband a boudoir photo book, or thematically categorize, coordinate and decorate all of  his care packages or throw him a pinterest-worthy homecoming party while showing off your now perfectly-toned arms in your new dress. truth is, none of us will ever do all of those things good enough....well I'm sure someone out there has and she's blogging about it. Someone will always have a cuter idea, a better complexion, a more poetic way of describing her love for her guy, or a cuter dress. 

You know what your husband really  wants while he's deployed? Pictures of your boobs and an ice cold beer. He wants to sit at home in his boxers watching TV without anybody around in his space. He wants to drink milk straight from the carton, eat something cooked on a stove that did not come out of a sealed package ready to be heated, and go to bed with his wife at the end if the day. 

So since I now realize that I'll never compile the perfect care package, and he'll never even remember what I wore the day he came home...

..here are the things I wish I had done for ME while I had a year to myself and excess time to do things just for me. Selfish? Look at it that way if you'd like...we can't change the fact that they're gone...so why not take advantage of moments we do have during that time when we don't have to cater to any one else wants or needs and do something out of the ordinary to help ourselves grow and fulfill and maybe become better people for when our spouses return? Maybe my list will give you some ideas to spark your creativity for when your spouse deploys. 

I wish I had gone to play a round of golf by myself. Because if I go do that now, he's going to want to go with (which is awesome too, but...) or he's going to be suspicious. I wish I had gone to see a movie by myself...shoveling in the entire jumbo tub of popcorn because there's nobody there to witness (not anyone who knows my name anyways). Taken more trips by myself. I took a road trip with my dad and one by myself during the year he was gone. I should have taken myself to the mountains for a weekend, not visiting family and not being tied to any agenda or schedule. Many of us do not spend a great deal of time alone, and I think that is why deployment is such a scary concept to some people. I used to hate being alone too, but as I've grown and learned to not hate myself, I know now that time to myself is precious and instrumental for mental health, peace, and growth. So if you find yourself sitting idle during deployment, letting the "woe is me" thoughts steal your joy...go instead and venture on your own for a bit and do something alone that you might not normally do alone.

And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”

~Mark 6:31