Ignorance is Bliss

For those who don't know, we lost our beloved Jack on Monday. It went down in a sad way, so if you're eating or are easily grossed out, maybe don't read this.....

Late Sunday night (or I guess, early Monday morning) poor Jack woke us up having his issue of sneezing blood. He had started to have some other issues on Sunday of no longer being able to control himself, for example, in his sleep. And he just wasn't THAT kind of dog...Jack was totally house trained and extremely well behaved....just an all-around great dog. So I went back to sleep with the decision that after work on Monday, I'd take him in to the vet and say goodbye so he didn't have to hurt any worse. But as I got ready for work Monday morning, things changed completely.  I came out of the shower and it looked as if someone had been stabbed and ran through the house getting stabbed repeatedly. Poor Jack thought he was in trouble and Lucy followed him around almost like a kid asking "are you okay?" and looking at me as if she was yelling, "Mom, HELP!" Lucy typically kept her distance from Jack, and had only started playing chase with him in the past couple of days. I frantically tried to clean and comfort Jack and wipe his face off while repeating to the dogs "You're okay. It's okay." A few more sneezes and I lost it...

...there I stood, in my white work pants splattered with blood, cleaning rags in both hands, balling my eyes out like a lost child. I called my husband and incoherently uttered some words into the phone that triggered him to come home after PT. Being at the new job, missing a day of work wasn't really an option....I was already going to be late as it was. So, dear husband enters and immediately drops his jaw...."the whole house is ruined!" I told him it didn't matter now, and we could only let Jack know we loved him and he hadn't done anything wrong. Luckily our vet is within walking distance so he took him in without destroying one of our cars too. 

My sweet husband stayed with Jack until the very end, without me even suggesting it. I didn't want Jack to die alone. Jack spent enough time alone. If you remember his story, he was a shelter dog....a two sentences shelter dog. He had been abandoned and alone too many times, and I wouldn't want him to go out that way. Thankfully my husband loved Jack enough to stay right by his side the whole time. 

the house is pretty quiet without him here

We had Jack for not even two months. Am I mad? Do I feel ripped off that the humane society sold us a sick dog? Absolutely not. If they had found out what was wrong with Jack, rather than their crummy notes about a possible sinus infection, we never would have experienced the joy of having him in our family for a few weeks. Am I mad we forked over hundreds to try and make him feel better?....and hundreds more on replacing the items damaged when things went down? Not at all. In our case, ignorance brought Jack into our lives to open our hearts and teach us some of the most valuable lessons of life...

.....pick someone to love and love them with all your heart...

...be a good friend...

...be brave and cheerful no matter your circumstances....
(notice his wagging tail inside the vet's office)

...stay quiet during nap time...

...and take lots of naps yourself...

...lots of them...

Love you, Jack. Miss you bunches.

  

gymtimidation

For those of you who dread going to the gym due to the cologne-ridden muscle heads, the elitist paleo dieters, the ladies with perfect hair and makeup to go along with their coordinated outfit, or because you're saving up to afford a month or two of crossfit....for whatever reason, this post is for you!

I've noticed a lot of people chastising other people for how they look at the gym, what foods they're eating, what they're doing at the gym...and I'm sure there's a long list of other self-righteous accusations floating around in the locker rooms or on social media. ( for example, videos of people at the gym doing a maneuver wrong...rather than whip out your smart phone and giggle along with your friends on Facebook, Johnny Fitness Genius, maybe go kindly suggest to the person a safer way to do things, since you know everything and all...)

Well, I have some advice for those of you who may be letting other people's judgement get to you while you're on your path to a healthier you.....

....stop caring about what the haters have to say!

It's nobody's business what you're doing at the gym...unless you're putting yourself or someone else in danger. It's also nobody's business what you're eating!

You want to know the number one reason why I love my Globo Gym? Because no one there chastises me about what food I put in my mouth! If I'm eating Twinkies for breakfast and complaining about being fat, go ahead and lecture me about macronutrients and the dangers of processed foods. However, if I go buy a smoothie at Jamba Juice,  don't lecture me about how it is not healthy. I don't care if it's "not healthy" by your standards.... it's better than a milkshake, am I right?

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't  drink smoothies from chain stores or eat at Chipotle because I think they are the healthiest choices?? Maybe I eat things like that because they're better than the crap I used to eat, they taste good, they're convenient, and sometimes I'm pretty unorganized and don't have a perfectly-portioned paleo-compliant meal stored in my <insert name brand> gym bag.

And I think some of you know what I'm talking about.....Just when you thought you were doing good, you were on the up and up...some elitist rides in on their airdyne and tells you you're oblivious about fitness and nutrition.

So, I leave you with this. The next time you see the "fail" shirt with the silhouette on the elliptical machine, ignore it. The elliptical is better than the couch, and don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise. The next time you're sweating your patootie off in your high school gym t-shirt next to the gal in the brand new LuLu gear,  wipe your brow with the torn and tattered sleeve with pride......And a subway salad is not just as bad as a mcdonalds combo meal...don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise.

double fail! Way to be a judgemental prick....
source

doing my part to keep the level of "gymtimidation" down
stained (but clean) t-shirt, Red Wings shorts I've owned since middle school, and shoes that don't coordinate at all...
I for reals always look this sloppy at the gym, but hey, it's 5am so who cares!?

I eat these foods because they taste good.
I know they are not "paleo" and are labeled by some as "treats"
I label them as "yummy and convenient"...I got $hi+ to do!!!

I'm sure I could get chastised for these as well...spinach pancakes, but made with potato starch and such instead of coconut flour....because coconut flour tastes gross, bottom line. Oh yeah, and that issue of the cream cheese on top....

and sometimes I get crazy and eat total non foods like this...shame on me

See, if you listen to people long enough, you can convince yourself that you're a horrible fat load who eats nothing but junk. So just stop listening to the haters. Unless you've paid someone for their expert and tailored advice regarding nutrition and exercise, let the talkers talk...they don't know what it's like in your shoes.....which, by the way, are probably not <insert expensive brand name> weightlifting or minimalist shoes...shame on you! ;)

The Best Thing I've Learned in College

One semester, I had the pleasure of having an Okie for my professor. He cared for us students and instilled information and ideas in us like no other professor I've ever worked with. I don't remember his name because he had us students call him "Woody." Of all the knowledge I've stuffed into my brain over the years with college and licensing exams and certifications.....Woody shared something with us on the last night of class that will forever stick in my brain. He told us "other people will gladly plan your life for you if you let them."

let that ferment for a moment.

It goes along the lines of "we treat people how to treat us." So if you let someone run your life and control your schedule and consume your energy, they will. And to some, it may feel like a selfish act to stand your ground and look out for yourself (that's the case for me) but some things have really opened my eyes over the past two days and I'm taking control of my life...now...right now...ooohhhh yeeeaaahhh. (Thanks, Tom Petty) This week, don't be a pushover. Control your own resources.

Meet Jack

I am Jack

Jack joined our family just over a month ago. 

This is Jack's fourth home.

......I am Jack's inflamed sense of abandonment.

I am Jack's shadow ;) 

Wherever I am, he can be found nearby. 

I am Jack's deep appreciation for sleep. 

The M&M is a good place for sleep appreciation..

I am Jack's raging nasal cavity. 

Jack has something wrong with his nose, it is possibly cancer, and it is likely the reason why we are Jack's fourth home. We haven't pinpointed and confirmed the issue yet. But we have tried a few remedies to no avail. So, we've made the decision to fix what we can afford, and if there is something we cannot, we will love him for as long as he lets us. Unlike several previous owners who we think maybe saw Jack's symptoms and bolted the other direction (BUT, turned him in to the humane society rather than leaving him in a field, so I give them credit for that) we will either help him or let him spend his last days here at the M&M. 

...it's not so bad at the M&M...

I can see God teaching me through Jack. I have to take extra care to be patient because he's scared, fair between the two dogs, gentle because he's ill, and cautious since I don't know everything about him like I do Lucy. That's all challenging for a MandGrenade ;)

I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak. ~Ezekial 34:16

Things I wish I had done while my husband was deployed

Wait....what? Yes... I am about to talk about things I wish I had done while my husband was deployed for a year. This is not a list of cute themed care packages I wish I had sent him, home improvements I wish I had made, letters I wish I had sent...blah! 

If you listen to enough people, you can totally convince yourself that you are, in fact, a crummy military spouse because you didn't send your husband a boudoir photo book, or thematically categorize, coordinate and decorate all of  his care packages or throw him a pinterest-worthy homecoming party while showing off your now perfectly-toned arms in your new dress. truth is, none of us will ever do all of those things good enough....well I'm sure someone out there has and she's blogging about it. Someone will always have a cuter idea, a better complexion, a more poetic way of describing her love for her guy, or a cuter dress. 

You know what your husband really  wants while he's deployed? Pictures of your boobs and an ice cold beer. He wants to sit at home in his boxers watching TV without anybody around in his space. He wants to drink milk straight from the carton, eat something cooked on a stove that did not come out of a sealed package ready to be heated, and go to bed with his wife at the end if the day. 

So since I now realize that I'll never compile the perfect care package, and he'll never even remember what I wore the day he came home...

..here are the things I wish I had done for ME while I had a year to myself and excess time to do things just for me. Selfish? Look at it that way if you'd like...we can't change the fact that they're gone...so why not take advantage of moments we do have during that time when we don't have to cater to any one else wants or needs and do something out of the ordinary to help ourselves grow and fulfill and maybe become better people for when our spouses return? Maybe my list will give you some ideas to spark your creativity for when your spouse deploys. 

I wish I had gone to play a round of golf by myself. Because if I go do that now, he's going to want to go with (which is awesome too, but...) or he's going to be suspicious. I wish I had gone to see a movie by myself...shoveling in the entire jumbo tub of popcorn because there's nobody there to witness (not anyone who knows my name anyways). Taken more trips by myself. I took a road trip with my dad and one by myself during the year he was gone. I should have taken myself to the mountains for a weekend, not visiting family and not being tied to any agenda or schedule. Many of us do not spend a great deal of time alone, and I think that is why deployment is such a scary concept to some people. I used to hate being alone too, but as I've grown and learned to not hate myself, I know now that time to myself is precious and instrumental for mental health, peace, and growth. So if you find yourself sitting idle during deployment, letting the "woe is me" thoughts steal your joy...go instead and venture on your own for a bit and do something alone that you might not normally do alone.

And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”

~Mark 6:31